About face?

Up until this point I have been a self-proclaimed lover of 'all things spa.' Well, maybe not all things....I had my first professional facial today and I must say I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would! While my aesthetician was very pleasant and warm...as she commenced to apply product to my face...my experience went down hill from there. First of all, I told her this was my first facial...translation: it would be nice if you walk me through each step of this process so that I'll know what's coming. Well, she didn't hear the translation and the next thing I know she's goin in on my cheeks and chin! Now, I'm laid back on a table and she's sitting at my head. While common sense told me to close my eyes and keep them closed while she's applying various products....I also expected her to go around my eyes and not necessarily rub over them just like they were my cheeks or my forehead. Well, I was WRONG! Because she's standing over me to begin cleaning my face and she's rubbing the cleanser and then exfoliant into my face in an upward motion so now I'm feeling the products slowly creep into my eye and then of course, begin to burn. I'm trying my hardest to keep my eyes closed tightly, but because of how she's rubbing everything in, it's starting to irritate my eyes. So I let her know and then she attempts to wipe my eyes out. Then I'm like, no ma'am...give me a damp towel so that I can regain my sight because right now you're exfoliating my pupils. Then she goes, "you gotta remember to keep your eyes closed while I'm applying products!" Perhaps ma'am if you would stop rubbing my face as though it were my shoulders that simple gesture would indeed keep all products out of my eyes!?! Jerk!?! STRIKE #1!

Now on to the steam treatment. Now, I've done a modified treatment similar to this at home, so I'm kinda looking forward to this part. So she puts these pads over my eyes and then turns on the steamer. This time she told me what she was about to do...praise God! So I'm laying there and at first I felt very relaxed  and enjoyed the steam encouraging my face to form tiny beads of sweat that began to trickle down my neck. Then with the steam blowing directly into my face, I guess my airways began to dry out because then I got to sneezing and coughing trying to 'lube up' my airways again. Also at this time, she has promptly left the room. So then I begin to roll my head back and forth out of direct line from the steam to breathe some 'normal' air from time to time. It kinda felt like when you open the oven with glasses on and it makes them fog up....but a constant state of that....STRIKE #2!

She returns after about 7-10 minutes and then applies a mask to my face. This smelled really good and was kinda tingly so I'm thinking things are looking up! Then she's like, "now I'm going to blow some oxygen on your face"....I'm thinking to myself, so you bout to turn on a fan! :) *I tickled myself inside just a lil! At any rate, the 'oxygen' provided a nice cool breeze as I'm sitting there with the mask on. She leaves the room again for about 10 minutes. Upon her re-entering the room, she makes some small talk and then sits down at my head...the next thing I know I hear: clip! clip! clip! file! file! file! Am I hearing correctly? Yes, she is clipping and filing down her fingernails before continuing on with my service. Again, not a right or wrong situation per se...but a matter of appropriateness.....and you ma'am are so disrespecting my spa experience right now! STRIKE #3!

Moving forward, I think I'll stick with my manis, pedis, and massages and do my own facial work. I think I'll probably try a facial one more time just for comparison's sake, but for now...I'M GOOD!?!