Today I Didn't Even Have to Use My AK.....

2012!!! Whas goodie blog-o-sphere!?! Well, it's a new year...a time of reflection on the recent past while also looking ahead to the immediate future. So what should I leave behind in 2011 or maybe 'keep on pushin' into 2012? Lemme tell you how first on the list of 'things' to leave in 2011 is my proverbial 'fishing pole.' Well, maybe not leave it totally, but definitely lean it up against the proverbial 'pier' for a while. I'm speaking, of course, of my uploaded profile onto plentyoffish.com....

I shared that I was doing the online dating thing in some previous posts. And while one expects to run across some randomness...some foolishness....and even a lil fuckery, ultimately you want to remain optimistic that folks on the other end of these profiles are who they say they are. Afterall, I'm on the site and I'm not desperate....or psychotic....or crazy....well, at least not the 'bad' kinda crazy ;) But you hope to potentially make a genuine connection with someone and maybe begin to call them 'boo' or a nick name of some sort. Simply another means of meeting folks in this day and age, right!?! The following account will give you multiple layers of inspiration for my  recent 'fishing' hiatus. I can't make this shit up...so as you read, every time you feel like saying to yourself: "this can't be real life,".....IT IS! MY LIFE!

I had been conversing with this particular guy for a couple of weeks...mostly messenging back and forth across the computer, but we had the opportunity to have one phone conversation prior to him asking to meet me for a drink after work. No big 'red flags' from the phone convo, so why not! I did have significant reservations about the fact that he shared that he was divorced with two young children, but I'm trying to be open and non-judgemental.  *rolls eyes so hard they hurt So we agree to meet....fasten your seatbelts....

Turns out, this dude's divorce has just been finalized since the previous April (it's now December) and his children are ages 2 & 3! WTF! This shit is fresh as Orbitz....why are you even trying to 'entertain' new ladies at this time? So I ask, with his kids being so young, how is his relationship with his ex-wife? He goes on to tell me that he was once in the military and right before the first time he was deployed over seas, his (then) girlfriend got pregnant. So to 'do the right thing,' he marries her knowing that he doesn't love her. So he's away and they begin to discuss how getting a divorce may be best once he returns to the states. Yet, when he returns, instead of concentrating on proceeding with this decision...yep, you guessed it...she becomes pregnant again. So that's how you end up with two kids under the age of 5 and some divorce papers with wet ink. He seemed to be very self-conscious about his situation as well. Asking me, if he was to meet my family, would they 'go in' on him and his situation. Uuuhhh sir, you don't have to worry about that!

So a few more interesting tidbits throughout our hour and a half spent at the restaurant:

• I have one cocktail and 'nurse' that throughout our conversation....dude throws back 3 whole beers and goes to the restroom 3 different times!
• He asked me if I ever talked to a person and felt like that person was 'too good' for me....HUGE RED FLAG! Right then, I let him know that when folk tell me shit like that, I believe them. You know you...I'm just meeting you, so if you feel like I'm too good for you....hey, thanks for your honesty and I'll see you at the crossroads!
• We speak about going to the gun range and how I find it a stress reliever and am favorable to going...not weirded out by guns. He gets all excited and begins to tell me that he 'carries' and has a small gun collection. *Turns out, he's carrying a conceled weapon (.45 caliber) on an expired out of state license...-_- Really?!?
• CLIMAX: As we walk out of the restaurant, he goes: "hey, I wanna show you something, it's in my trunk...I got one of my AK 47s." PAUSE.  I had to put my eye on it cuz I just couldn't wrap my mind around someone having an assault rifle just lying in their trunk....along with the baby's Leap Frog laptop, some picnic blankets, some motor oil, a change of drawls, and all types of other random shit. What situation in daily life would you roll up on and think to yourself, 'I sure am glad I brought the AK wit me today!?!' There's no way in hell I'm rollin ANYWHERE with you!

So as a result of this latest 'catch' that I gladly 'threw back,' I decided to take a break from the online dating game. Honestly, I had become quite board with the whole process and really need something 'new' in my life. I want to try to meet some eligibles 'the old fashion way.' Looks like I won't be shopping for just groceries at the market these days ;)