The happiest of Memorial Day Weekends to everyone one! (a.k.a. a much needed 3-day weekend to many of the working class) I actually took my extended weekend a step further by taking a vacay day on Friday so ya girl had a whaaat....4-day "staycay" due in part to the dedicated men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces. #THANKYOU
Now that that's outta the way, I must commence with my usual 'debrief-ifcation' of a recent ocurrence that literally took my breath away! So I went out for a run this afternoon on one of the beautiful greenways of the Queen City. There are a significant number of persons of Indian (from India) descent who also inhabit my small apartment complex community. They mostly keep to themselves and only socialize amongst themselves with the exception of an occasional 'hello' or 'excuse me' on the stairs. Therefore, I know no one's name and am not quite sure of many other details that I haven't learned from simply observing (i.e. which kids belong to which family and which ladies are stay-at-home moms).
Well, one key thing that I have observed is the significant difference in hygiene practices. Now, while I appreciate diversity in many different forms....I don't know if you've ever walked into an enclosed space with 6 full grown Indian men working out on various cardio machines before....but lemme tell you, I've been to the Ringling Bros. and the Universoul Circuses (is that a word?) and niether of those events have anything on the assault to my nostrils that I naively walked into. I've never huffed any substance with the goal of getting high from doing so, but I would imagine that the light-headed feeling that I got as I attempted to 'brave' the setting and run anyway on the treadmill came pretty close to the equivalent of huffing methane gas! This actually happened earlier during the spring months...so fast forward to today's casual afternoon run when I ran up on this 4 person Indian family on the greenway. Mom, Dad, child of about 4 and another baby in the stroller. I was about 50 feet behind the family when I initially began to smell that very distinct scent of curry, patchouli, and plain ole body funk that I have become very familiar with acknowledging as the 'Indian smell.' Mind you, it wasn't windy today! The closer I got to this sweet and unassuming family, the stronger their scent became which propelled me into the run of my life (uphill) because there was no way I was going to remain behind them on the path without my trick knee giving out and then collapsing on the path a la Sophia in The Color Purple after she hit the white man! As I eventually passed them I tried to have a pleasant look on my face, a lil smile to acknowledge that 'I see you and I'm not going to hurt you,' and hold my breath while running uphill....yea, I attempted to do all of that at once! As I looked at the innocent faces of the children, I couldn't help but wonder how much of the odor was being emitted from their sweet little bodies :( You lil funky bastards...bless their hearts! (you know when you say 'bless your heart' after something....it makes it less offensive!)
So I'd just like to go on the record to say that I totally respect cultural differences and I believe people should exist as they wish without judgement from others (barring their not hurting anyone of course). But damn if my sense of smell wasn't a little wounded as my cocky deoderant and body spray wearing ass decided to breath (outside mind you!) while I went for my afternoon jog! Now pardon me while I attempt to stretch out my ham strings that have tightened up tighter than gnat ass after my impromptu uphill sprint this afternoon. #EASYDOESIT
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
EUREKA! I've Got it!
It seems like every few years, you see some news coverage in some random town USA where folks are 'all riled up' at the thought of public school systems talking to kids about sex. It never fails, I don't care how drastic teen pregnancy or STD transmittal stats are among teens, there still seems to be a segment of the human population that feels that this has nothing to do with young people's lack of education about sex in order to make well-informed and hopefully better decisions for themselves. I was watching Dr. Phil a few weeks ago and he was discussing this with the 'usual suspects' debating the extremes of the issue: the right-winged Pastor who only believes in abstinence-only education and the parent that has allowed their child to do everything under their roof except tape it and sell it on ebay....because 'they'd rather know and provide a safe environment vs. have their kids sneak around and do it anyway." Yea, yea, yea.....I get that, but there has to be some middle of this spectrum to come to a happy compromise for the sake of today's youth. In my opinion, folks who are hardcore abstinence-only education are living in a fantasy. The fantasy that totally disregard's human nature to question, to want to experience, to be curious....just because you wretch at the thought of someone sticking a chic-o-stick up your ass doesn't mean that 15 year old Johnny does and he actually might try that shit if no one has the balls to say "hey Johnny, I see how that may be interesting to you, but you probably wanna re-think that move...and here's why!" That's all sex ed is! Giving young people information that acknowledges all of their feelings and urges, yet helps give them a frame of reference for outcomes if they don't choose wisely. It's not encouraging them to do anything but make better decisions. I don't know about you, but once I saw those pics of STD ridden genitalia, a sis wanted to lock it down for life! Not to mention what would happen to my body during a pregnancy and then how I'd have to push dat bitch out!?! No MF ma'am! And there you have it....a successful informative intervention! Silence has never remedied any problem people...WAKE UP! Deal with the real and quit being punk ass parents, mentors, and community leaders. You had these babies that you knew would grow up and be adults one day now equip them with the tools and knowledge to give a shit, accomplish some shit, and not take any shit! #MESSAGE
The other side of the coin when it comes to young people is this notion of invincibility. "I can do whatever the hell I want and still escape getting caught and going to jail....and hell, if I do, that ain't no big deal!" Lemme repeat, when it's time to intervene and really address young people who are headed down the wrong path, it's not time to be punk ass parents, mentors, or community leaders! Even when I was a teenager and I'd see news coverage of some minor who had committed a crime on the news or a write up in the newspaper...it always pissed me off that they wouldn't say their names or show their faces! WHY!?! Why does this criminal get the luxury of anonymity just because he/she's under 18! Hold these little MF's to the fulleset extent of the law and then maybe...just maybe, you'll think twice the next time you wanna rob a Family Dollar, rape the cashier, and then set the store on fire! And since when is it 'okay' to be in jail! When did this memo go out, because I wasn't on that distribution list! Youth of today don't seem to be phased by the general notion of doing jail or prison time and I'm trying to figure out where that disconnect originated!?!
So what's the solution you may be wondering? Well, it came to me like an epiphany (*cue Chrisette Michele.....sang dat shit girl!?!) 6 words: "Sixteen and Pregnant" & "Beyond Scared Straight." What if viewing of just these two programs, currently airing on MTV and A&E channels, was required of all American students ages 11-16? Clearly, you can't wait to show the Sixteen & Preggers episodes until high school...cuz HELLOOOOO they might be candidates to be on that MF by that time! Again, let's deal with the real. At the very least, these TV programs raise some relevant topics that force viewers to get a real and uncensored (for the most part) look at the consequences of certain actions (i.e. participating in criminal activity, unprotected sex, disobedience in one's family) and the emotions that will be intertwined that you definitely don't foresee until you run into them like a brick wall (i.e. self esteem, abandonment, isolation, etc.). Now, don't even get me started with the levels of raw intimidation and harassment that the Beyond Scared Straight kids endure. I must say, I enjoy watching every bit of the interaction between the inmates and the 'troubled teens' because it can't get any 'realer.' If you've got a 6'5'' man towering over you and telling you how he's gonna put you in a dress when you arrive to be his 'cellie'.....well, shit, you got some decisions to make! And not only do you have some decisions to make, but you now know the exact consequences to both sides of your decisions. So if you don't mind the thought of being 'Razor Blade's' cellie in a dress...then keep pushin your luck in the streets. It's as simple as that! While initially my 'train of thought' was a comical one when thinking about these shows, it then became a serious question to me. There's a place for pop culture in education and I think this would be a match like Teena Marie and Rick James! #SQUAREBIZ
The other side of the coin when it comes to young people is this notion of invincibility. "I can do whatever the hell I want and still escape getting caught and going to jail....and hell, if I do, that ain't no big deal!" Lemme repeat, when it's time to intervene and really address young people who are headed down the wrong path, it's not time to be punk ass parents, mentors, or community leaders! Even when I was a teenager and I'd see news coverage of some minor who had committed a crime on the news or a write up in the newspaper...it always pissed me off that they wouldn't say their names or show their faces! WHY!?! Why does this criminal get the luxury of anonymity just because he/she's under 18! Hold these little MF's to the fulleset extent of the law and then maybe...just maybe, you'll think twice the next time you wanna rob a Family Dollar, rape the cashier, and then set the store on fire! And since when is it 'okay' to be in jail! When did this memo go out, because I wasn't on that distribution list! Youth of today don't seem to be phased by the general notion of doing jail or prison time and I'm trying to figure out where that disconnect originated!?!
So what's the solution you may be wondering? Well, it came to me like an epiphany (*cue Chrisette Michele.....sang dat shit girl!?!) 6 words: "Sixteen and Pregnant" & "Beyond Scared Straight." What if viewing of just these two programs, currently airing on MTV and A&E channels, was required of all American students ages 11-16? Clearly, you can't wait to show the Sixteen & Preggers episodes until high school...cuz HELLOOOOO they might be candidates to be on that MF by that time! Again, let's deal with the real. At the very least, these TV programs raise some relevant topics that force viewers to get a real and uncensored (for the most part) look at the consequences of certain actions (i.e. participating in criminal activity, unprotected sex, disobedience in one's family) and the emotions that will be intertwined that you definitely don't foresee until you run into them like a brick wall (i.e. self esteem, abandonment, isolation, etc.). Now, don't even get me started with the levels of raw intimidation and harassment that the Beyond Scared Straight kids endure. I must say, I enjoy watching every bit of the interaction between the inmates and the 'troubled teens' because it can't get any 'realer.' If you've got a 6'5'' man towering over you and telling you how he's gonna put you in a dress when you arrive to be his 'cellie'.....well, shit, you got some decisions to make! And not only do you have some decisions to make, but you now know the exact consequences to both sides of your decisions. So if you don't mind the thought of being 'Razor Blade's' cellie in a dress...then keep pushin your luck in the streets. It's as simple as that! While initially my 'train of thought' was a comical one when thinking about these shows, it then became a serious question to me. There's a place for pop culture in education and I think this would be a match like Teena Marie and Rick James! #SQUAREBIZ
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
You're drunk...aren't you?!?
What a whirlwind the last few months have been in the life of Re! I been working harder than a one legged double-dutch champion on a roller skate, you hear me!?! As a result, my personal life has really suffered because by the time I get home between 9-10pm in the evening, all I want to do is eat, bathe, and collapse! At any rate, one of my temporary responsibilities recently ended and therefore 'freed up' my evenings to get my after work and weekend 'groove' back.
Now it's been a while since I actually met a dude in person, thought there was some chemistry, and then followed up to set up a time to actually get together. It's no secret that I've given online dating a time or two or 15 in the past....but I'm taking a break from 'computer love' and desiring to make good ole fashioned connections with potential suitors right now. So when I started conversing with this really cool guy through my job, I thought....hmmm, yep...this is what it feels like to meet someone in person and then feel like you want to go out with them! Do it girl! DO IT! So we handle the business at hand in both of our professional roles but once we met in person there was definitely a mutual attraction and a bit of chemistry. Now I knew he was a bit younger than me, but not exactly sure how much younger....le sigh
Long story short, we connect on Facebook to become personal acquaintances and then exchange cell numbers. My initial suggestion is that we get together for lunch one day. We work in very close proximity and that seemed like the natural progression. Now, immediately, as he uses my cell # for the first time, his suggestion is that we get together for dinner....eyebrow raised just a smidge...but whatevs. Dinner it is! So we agree to meet at Fridays on Friday nite (typical....LOL). Now, at about 6:20pm that early evening, he calls me saying that he's a bit inebriated.....1st thought: ALREADY!?! But he's still favorable to meeting up so I'm like, okay, he's probably at the bar with co-workers and has had a few...no biggie.
Fast forward to him actually showing up for me to look him in the eyes.....this dude is DRUNK! Not tipsy. Not nice. DRUNK! By the way, he says he's 26 initially...but with further conversation, he's 25 about to be 26. #killyaself *Inner thoughts: Re, just get through the date. Don't be so quick to judge. Just talk to him. So while I'm asking questions like: So where are you from orignially? Do you have siblings? Favorite foods here at Fridays? This dude is hittin me with, so why are you single? Do you consider yourself sexually passive? #PAUSE ("Re to Re" moment: Did he really just ask you that? HELLZ YEA he did? Now this confirms that there are obviously narcotics involved in this interaction as well as alcohol!) So while I '2-step' and 'Dougie' around this bullshit line of questioning. I lay out very clearly what I'm looking for....a relationship....1 dude....a life sharer....no BS! Meanwhile, dude across from me is like, weeeell, I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship right now, but I'm definitely looking for companionship...someone I can do things with since I'm new to the city....someone I can chill over their house, they can chill over mine....I'm very affectionate (RED FLAG)...I like to cuddle and kiss (RED FLAGS)....I'm a real 'touchy feely' type of guy (RED FLAAAAAAG)! My response: That's nice, well with me, patience is going to be of the essence. Please & thank you! So you show up drunk and now you're basically telling me you wanna watch my cable and occassionally have sex!?! Yep, that's pretty much the summation. Le sigh....
Now while all of this engaging and well thought out conversation is going on, dude is so drunk that his eyes begin to casually roll back in his head as he's trying to look me in the eye! Turns out, he had 9 BEERS before he even got within my eye's view! And now, you're sipping on this Patron Margarita (which you took the liberty to order for me as well.....and it woulda actually been cute if you were my dude....but you sir don't know me from a can of pork & beans but I digress...). So now, here comes the coup de gras of the entire evening.....Dude: So after dinner, we can head back to your place and chill, right?!? Oh tiny grasshoppa....you couldn't be more wrong! As he gives the customary "I mean, I'll understand if you say no, but I'm hoping you'll say yes" shpeel....I had to shut it down like the Post Office at 5pm. (*Inner Ratchet Re: Oh, he got me fucked up! Go where? Now I FURTHER know that there are narcotics and maybe even some barbituates involved!).
I think what has been born out of this experience for me is to compile a list of some of the craziest, most disrespectful, stupidest, weirdest, most awkward, and most inappropriate questions that should never be asked on a first date with someone...and in some instances, at all....in life! Whether it's a new friend, aquaintance, or romantic interest...an impression is an impression so don't be a dick for no reason and completely 'turn off' someone who could really become a blessing to you. You just never know how paths cross as time goes on....so stay tuned for this compilation because I promise you.....there'll be a lil shart in your pants by the end!?! #LEGO!
Now it's been a while since I actually met a dude in person, thought there was some chemistry, and then followed up to set up a time to actually get together. It's no secret that I've given online dating a time or two or 15 in the past....but I'm taking a break from 'computer love' and desiring to make good ole fashioned connections with potential suitors right now. So when I started conversing with this really cool guy through my job, I thought....hmmm, yep...this is what it feels like to meet someone in person and then feel like you want to go out with them! Do it girl! DO IT! So we handle the business at hand in both of our professional roles but once we met in person there was definitely a mutual attraction and a bit of chemistry. Now I knew he was a bit younger than me, but not exactly sure how much younger....le sigh
Long story short, we connect on Facebook to become personal acquaintances and then exchange cell numbers. My initial suggestion is that we get together for lunch one day. We work in very close proximity and that seemed like the natural progression. Now, immediately, as he uses my cell # for the first time, his suggestion is that we get together for dinner....eyebrow raised just a smidge...but whatevs. Dinner it is! So we agree to meet at Fridays on Friday nite (typical....LOL). Now, at about 6:20pm that early evening, he calls me saying that he's a bit inebriated.....1st thought: ALREADY!?! But he's still favorable to meeting up so I'm like, okay, he's probably at the bar with co-workers and has had a few...no biggie.
Fast forward to him actually showing up for me to look him in the eyes.....this dude is DRUNK! Not tipsy. Not nice. DRUNK! By the way, he says he's 26 initially...but with further conversation, he's 25 about to be 26. #killyaself *Inner thoughts: Re, just get through the date. Don't be so quick to judge. Just talk to him. So while I'm asking questions like: So where are you from orignially? Do you have siblings? Favorite foods here at Fridays? This dude is hittin me with, so why are you single? Do you consider yourself sexually passive? #PAUSE ("Re to Re" moment: Did he really just ask you that? HELLZ YEA he did? Now this confirms that there are obviously narcotics involved in this interaction as well as alcohol!) So while I '2-step' and 'Dougie' around this bullshit line of questioning. I lay out very clearly what I'm looking for....a relationship....1 dude....a life sharer....no BS! Meanwhile, dude across from me is like, weeeell, I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship right now, but I'm definitely looking for companionship...someone I can do things with since I'm new to the city....someone I can chill over their house, they can chill over mine....I'm very affectionate (RED FLAG)...I like to cuddle and kiss (RED FLAGS)....I'm a real 'touchy feely' type of guy (RED FLAAAAAAG)! My response: That's nice, well with me, patience is going to be of the essence. Please & thank you! So you show up drunk and now you're basically telling me you wanna watch my cable and occassionally have sex!?! Yep, that's pretty much the summation. Le sigh....
Now while all of this engaging and well thought out conversation is going on, dude is so drunk that his eyes begin to casually roll back in his head as he's trying to look me in the eye! Turns out, he had 9 BEERS before he even got within my eye's view! And now, you're sipping on this Patron Margarita (which you took the liberty to order for me as well.....and it woulda actually been cute if you were my dude....but you sir don't know me from a can of pork & beans but I digress...). So now, here comes the coup de gras of the entire evening.....Dude: So after dinner, we can head back to your place and chill, right?!? Oh tiny grasshoppa....you couldn't be more wrong! As he gives the customary "I mean, I'll understand if you say no, but I'm hoping you'll say yes" shpeel....I had to shut it down like the Post Office at 5pm. (*Inner Ratchet Re: Oh, he got me fucked up! Go where? Now I FURTHER know that there are narcotics and maybe even some barbituates involved!).
I think what has been born out of this experience for me is to compile a list of some of the craziest, most disrespectful, stupidest, weirdest, most awkward, and most inappropriate questions that should never be asked on a first date with someone...and in some instances, at all....in life! Whether it's a new friend, aquaintance, or romantic interest...an impression is an impression so don't be a dick for no reason and completely 'turn off' someone who could really become a blessing to you. You just never know how paths cross as time goes on....so stay tuned for this compilation because I promise you.....there'll be a lil shart in your pants by the end!?! #LEGO!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)